a hopeless case

so, I saw Dr. L today. As we were talking about my case, he pointed out something he wrote in my file 10 years ago. He basically said that I was a hopeless case. He thinks that I might be better off seeing someone at a pain management clinic. He was a bit hopeful about the probability of having botox injections covered by new ins. company. We shall see...

adding to my usual suspects of the drug world:
cymbalta 60 mg, amrix 30mg, valium 10 mg, ambien, and the big guns...dilaudid, stadol and actiq. I am going to try topomax again. It has been 5 years since I last tried it. Even if I only get a month or so of relief, it would be worth it! It even made me lose weight because I had such a bad taste in my mouth all the time. There was also the issue of the loss of conversational skills. Words would just escape me-but that can happen even without the med. He also added bystolic(for high b.p.) I have also tried that in the past. It has been written off-label for headaches. I am ready to hit these headaches ot of the park for good.

The next thing that I know I need to be trying to get on disability. It seems like the only real option that I have.

On a personal note- we got really sad news about one of WM's childhood friends killing himself. What a sad, shocking, and seriously messed -up turn of events. I know that Nathan is in the arms of God right now. I just hope that Libby will be able to comprehend the situation. Lord, please send a hedge of angels to surround her during this hard time. I can't believe he is gone.

hopeful...

so tomorrow I go back to the headache doc. We have new insurance, so I will be interested to see what options are out there for me. It is so hard to not be hopeless. I would love to find a clinical trial to be a part of.