Sunday, April 10, 2011
I could be in my own Cymbalta ad
Sometimes I feel so alone. The stress and anxiety that these headaches overwhelm me. I can't take care of my family like I should. I get to the point where I just don;t think there will ever be a solution to my problem.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Nerve Block #11...this is not a fun party
They keep telling me that the blocks areworking. I don't think that they are in my head. They don't fully understand the fact that the blocks that they keep giving me in my neck has taken away my neck pain and back part of brain pain(good grief that sounded so uneducated-sorry, I am tired and pissed now). I am SO SURE! BUNCH OF GOOBERS!I really feel like a pin-cushion between the blocks and the 37 injection sites of BOTOXa couple of weeks ago. The jury is still out on that one. As for the block, myneck doesn't presently hurt. All the pain in the entire world has found it's way to my frontal lobe. I am trying imitrex for bazillionth time. I am aware of the bad side-affects thatcome with that drug when I usually use it. I don't care anymore how bad they are! Bring it-iet's see what you've got!!
Plus, the cherry on the top of this turd sundae is the fact that breakthru meds that the pn clinic wrote for me last was lortab. First, that is not touching my pain and it rebounds on me horribly. This is why I only want to see one pain management specialist. Someone that just doesn't look at me and say"Well, I know what I am going to write for you. I bet you that you won't even need them with the new extended release med that I wrote." She wrote EXALGO 8mg. From what I have read, this is a super low dose. I am going to bash my head now!
That's enough now. Stop whining! At least, I am sending this out where none of my normal, non-headachy,happy would ever find it! It is kina freeing to begin to just lay it all out there for all cyber world to see and I don't even have to listen to any stupid story from a well-meaning person who just asks about my headaches in public. I save the "Oh, I am doing great-miracle treatment from magical goat feces. Good luck finding any!
Plus, the cherry on the top of this turd sundae is the fact that breakthru meds that the pn clinic wrote for me last was lortab. First, that is not touching my pain and it rebounds on me horribly. This is why I only want to see one pain management specialist. Someone that just doesn't look at me and say"Well, I know what I am going to write for you. I bet you that you won't even need them with the new extended release med that I wrote." She wrote EXALGO 8mg. From what I have read, this is a super low dose. I am going to bash my head now!
That's enough now. Stop whining! At least, I am sending this out where none of my normal, non-headachy,happy would ever find it! It is kina freeing to begin to just lay it all out there for all cyber world to see and I don't even have to listen to any stupid story from a well-meaning person who just asks about my headaches in public. I save the "Oh, I am doing great-miracle treatment from magical goat feces. Good luck finding any!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Embeda recall
So, I went to the pharmacy last week to fill a script of Embeda and it had been recalled. It would have been no big deal, but the pain clinic wouldn't replace it with anything until I came back in. So, I get to drive 2 hours again tomorrow to get a new med. So so so frustrating!
Monday, March 28, 2011
Botox and the Blues
I have been such a slacker with this blog. Sometimes I feel like laying it all out there for the world to read(if they found it!) means that the pain is winning. I don't like the person that I have become. I have always been the fun, quick with a quip or comeback, sassy girl. More and more, that person seems to be disappearing. It is like my best friend has moved a million miles away and refuses to communicate with me!
I have to say that the brightest spot in the last week has been reading Chocolate and Vicodin. I told my hubby that I feel like the author is inside my head! Strangely, we have gone through so much of the same treatments and procedures. I hate to laugh at her eagerness before "the next great cure" but I have been there and back many times over. It is a great read for anyone with headaches or chronic pain, or for that matter, their friends or loved ones. So refreshing a read! I know that this sounds ridiculous considering it is her day to day, doctor and quack memoir about living with chronic, unrelenting headache pain. I personally have chronic daily headaches and migraines and know what it is like to be the headache chick! Thank you, thank you for a great book that I can recommend to all the headache friends and those who love them and want to understand what we go through!!
Well, my insurance company finally paid for Botox. I had it done last week. No relief yet. At least that's something else to check off my list.
There have been lots and varied nerve blocks done over the last few months and med changes galore. I will try to tackle them next time!
I have to say that the brightest spot in the last week has been reading Chocolate and Vicodin. I told my hubby that I feel like the author is inside my head! Strangely, we have gone through so much of the same treatments and procedures. I hate to laugh at her eagerness before "the next great cure" but I have been there and back many times over. It is a great read for anyone with headaches or chronic pain, or for that matter, their friends or loved ones. So refreshing a read! I know that this sounds ridiculous considering it is her day to day, doctor and quack memoir about living with chronic, unrelenting headache pain. I personally have chronic daily headaches and migraines and know what it is like to be the headache chick! Thank you, thank you for a great book that I can recommend to all the headache friends and those who love them and want to understand what we go through!!
Well, my insurance company finally paid for Botox. I had it done last week. No relief yet. At least that's something else to check off my list.
There have been lots and varied nerve blocks done over the last few months and med changes galore. I will try to tackle them next time!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
another block
I have not posted in quite a time. Holidays and headaches can really make for some bad times for me.
I am going through rounds of blocks in hope of riding myself of all headaches. The blocks that were done in the first 2 rounds have been helpful. Now, I am feeling the headaches at the front of my head. Those have always been there, just not as bad as the headaches that I would feel at the base of my skull and down my neck. The blocks there are working for now. I wont be picky. There is intermittent pain back there, just nothing like it was before. NOw...on to this week
They describe it as ticks and fleas at the pain clinic. First, you get rid of fleas, then you have to get rid of the ticks. So, I guess we are fine tuning the pain now. The headache pain upfront has almost gotten unbearable. They have kept me almost constantly bedridden. So, we tried a new approach. They have stopped working across my neck and the base of my brain. The doc did a new to me block for the front a couple of days ago. I made the ultimate mistake and watched this procedure on YouTube. First of all, the video looked like it was made in like 1987. His block was done through the nose. gag!!! I was so scare going in, that I called and had nurse talk me through it in detail. It was performed by going in right in front of my left ear. They started with the left side, because it is the area of most pain.The block that was given is called sphenopalatine ganglion block.I am finding it hard to find good info about in on the web. Presently, I don't have any headache pain,, but it could be masked by the pain at the injection site.
Wish me luck, I have at least 2 more on the left side and then how many they decide for the right. My face swelling on the left side kinda makes me look like a confused squirrel storing muts only in one cheek! Let's just hope this works.
hoping to be painfree- Angie
I am going through rounds of blocks in hope of riding myself of all headaches. The blocks that were done in the first 2 rounds have been helpful. Now, I am feeling the headaches at the front of my head. Those have always been there, just not as bad as the headaches that I would feel at the base of my skull and down my neck. The blocks there are working for now. I wont be picky. There is intermittent pain back there, just nothing like it was before. NOw...on to this week
They describe it as ticks and fleas at the pain clinic. First, you get rid of fleas, then you have to get rid of the ticks. So, I guess we are fine tuning the pain now. The headache pain upfront has almost gotten unbearable. They have kept me almost constantly bedridden. So, we tried a new approach. They have stopped working across my neck and the base of my brain. The doc did a new to me block for the front a couple of days ago. I made the ultimate mistake and watched this procedure on YouTube. First of all, the video looked like it was made in like 1987. His block was done through the nose. gag!!! I was so scare going in, that I called and had nurse talk me through it in detail. It was performed by going in right in front of my left ear. They started with the left side, because it is the area of most pain.The block that was given is called sphenopalatine ganglion block.I am finding it hard to find good info about in on the web. Presently, I don't have any headache pain,, but it could be masked by the pain at the injection site.
Wish me luck, I have at least 2 more on the left side and then how many they decide for the right. My face swelling on the left side kinda makes me look like a confused squirrel storing muts only in one cheek! Let's just hope this works.
hoping to be painfree- Angie
Thursday, September 30, 2010
more light at the end of the tunnell.
Checked in with the pain clinic yesterday. Progress good. I still feel like I have a sunburn on my neck... the stigma of being a TN redneck that I have tried to run from for years! The actual needle holes are still sore to the touch and I feel like I have a hunchback. I don't- i checked. It is just sore in the area.
I have had quite a few days of no headaches. That is such a total blessing and gift from God. William says it is like he is getting his old wife back.
I have had quite a few days of no headaches. That is such a total blessing and gift from God. William says it is like he is getting his old wife back.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
still sore
If I didn't know it, I would think that someone shoved an ice pick in my neck a few times. The pain is still there and curiously it feels like I have a sunburn there. The nurse told me to expect that and other wierd things. come on, already I want to see if this is going to work!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
the big block
I usually do my research before a procedure. I went in a bit blind on the 3rd nerve block. It was so painful. I am hopeful that it will help. The process was using radio freq at the c2/c3/c4/c5. I am still very sore and having side effects from it, but I feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel. This is the best that I can find to sum it up...
Cervical facet radiofrequency neurotomy uses heat to create a lesion (damaged area) on the medial nerve. The lesion impairs the medial nerve’s ability to transmit signals about facet joint pain. Because the nerve is “turned off,” pain is not felt.
A cervical facet radiofrequency neurotomy is an outpatient procedure. You will wear a gown for the procedure and be positioned lying face down on a table. You will receive relaxation medicine before your procedure begins. The back of your neck will be sterilized and numbed with an anesthetic medication.
Your doctor will use a live X-ray image (fluoroscopy) to carefully insert and guide a needle-like tube (cannula) to the affected medial nerve. A small needle-like electrode (radiofrequency electrode) is inserted through the cannula. To ensure the cannula is in the correct position, a very mild electrical current is delivered through the electrode to the nerve. The nerve will briefly conduct pain signals and cause a muscle twitch, confirming that the correct nerve is targeted. Next, numbing medication is provided to the nerve in preparation for the treatment. Heat is delivered through the electrode to the nerve. The heat creates a lesion on the nerve. The heat disrupts the nerve’s ability to send signals about pain. At the end of the procedure, the cannula and electrode are removed. The process can be repeated for additional nerves that require treatment.
You will be monitored for several minutes before you can return home. You should have another person drive you home because you received sedation. Use care while resuming your regular activities over the next several days because your neck or back will feel sore. Your doctor may prescribe pain medication, rest, and instruct you to use heat or ice packs to ease the pain.
It usually takes three to four weeks for the treated nerves to completely die. During this period, your neck may feel weak. You may experience pain until the treated nerves are dead.
Cervical facet radiofrequency neurotomy typically results in pain relief for about 9 to 14 months or longer. About 50% of people experience pain relief for as much as two years. A small percentage of people do not experience any pain relief from the procedure. Over time, the nerves will grow back (regenerate). Some people will not experience pain again. If you experience pain, the procedure may be repeated.
This is all I have for now...
Cervical facet radiofrequency neurotomy uses heat to create a lesion (damaged area) on the medial nerve. The lesion impairs the medial nerve’s ability to transmit signals about facet joint pain. Because the nerve is “turned off,” pain is not felt.
A cervical facet radiofrequency neurotomy is an outpatient procedure. You will wear a gown for the procedure and be positioned lying face down on a table. You will receive relaxation medicine before your procedure begins. The back of your neck will be sterilized and numbed with an anesthetic medication.
Your doctor will use a live X-ray image (fluoroscopy) to carefully insert and guide a needle-like tube (cannula) to the affected medial nerve. A small needle-like electrode (radiofrequency electrode) is inserted through the cannula. To ensure the cannula is in the correct position, a very mild electrical current is delivered through the electrode to the nerve. The nerve will briefly conduct pain signals and cause a muscle twitch, confirming that the correct nerve is targeted. Next, numbing medication is provided to the nerve in preparation for the treatment. Heat is delivered through the electrode to the nerve. The heat creates a lesion on the nerve. The heat disrupts the nerve’s ability to send signals about pain. At the end of the procedure, the cannula and electrode are removed. The process can be repeated for additional nerves that require treatment.
You will be monitored for several minutes before you can return home. You should have another person drive you home because you received sedation. Use care while resuming your regular activities over the next several days because your neck or back will feel sore. Your doctor may prescribe pain medication, rest, and instruct you to use heat or ice packs to ease the pain.
It usually takes three to four weeks for the treated nerves to completely die. During this period, your neck may feel weak. You may experience pain until the treated nerves are dead.
Cervical facet radiofrequency neurotomy typically results in pain relief for about 9 to 14 months or longer. About 50% of people experience pain relief for as much as two years. A small percentage of people do not experience any pain relief from the procedure. Over time, the nerves will grow back (regenerate). Some people will not experience pain again. If you experience pain, the procedure may be repeated.
This is all I have for now...
Friday, September 3, 2010
pain clinic revolving door...
I didn't know that there was a revolving door at the pain clinic when I started my treatment there. Aparently, the place can't keep a nurse practicioner in place from one month to the next. I have been there four times now and have seen 3 different ladies now- no 2 in succession. I am ready for cervical block #3 in 2 weeks. This will be the long burn. It will be the HIT or MISS! I am hopeful. As for meds, I am taking nucynta for pain to see how that works. We shall see. I hate to be so cynical about the process, but after all these years, it just gets old!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
cervical blocks and pain clinic
so, I have been seeing a pain clinic. They took me off of dilaudid , fentanyl, and stadol. They were all my rescue drugs. I was given 5 mg. oxi's. laughable. I have been in so much pain. I first met with them on June 7. The first suggestion was to use a tens unit. I have been doing that on a daily baisis. The first cervical nerve block was done on July 21 on the left side. It didn't start working for a couple of days. Once it started working, it worked for 5 days and then just stopped altogether. I had another block on August 4 and saw the dr on Aug 5th. The block worked wuite a bit longer. It is still working off and on now. When I saw the dr, she put me on nucynta and changed the mg of oxy to 10 mg. still not hitting the pain.
It is amazing that I never realized how far down my back the pain went until the nerve block started to work. The blocks are helping my neck, but not necessarily my headaches. I want to get to the bottom of this-it is driving me crazy!!!
I have started on supplements daily. It is not that I think it is the perfect combination. I am taking glucosamine, vit e 400 i.u., and quin B strong B-25. These are what I am starting with. Hopefully, I will feel some success.
It is amazing that I never realized how far down my back the pain went until the nerve block started to work. The blocks are helping my neck, but not necessarily my headaches. I want to get to the bottom of this-it is driving me crazy!!!
I have started on supplements daily. It is not that I think it is the perfect combination. I am taking glucosamine, vit e 400 i.u., and quin B strong B-25. These are what I am starting with. Hopefully, I will feel some success.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
hopeless case revisited
so, back to Dr. Landy today. Nerve blocks again today-way lower this time. so far, helping a bit. I stopped taking stadol. It makes me crazy and angry and sometimes rebounds, so good-bye! I am still trying the topamax, self-adjusting per dr's orders.
Topamax is a such a strange med. I am getting numb digits and lips. My mouth is on fire & everything tastes so strange-and oh...yeah.I..keep..forgetting...words. Is it all worth it? I just want to live a normal life with my kids and hubby.
the doc gave me a homework assignment- to research occipital nerve stimulator implant and the nerve decompression surgery. I am up for anything at this point!
later taters
Topamax is a such a strange med. I am getting numb digits and lips. My mouth is on fire & everything tastes so strange-and oh...yeah.I..keep..forgetting...words. Is it all worth it? I just want to live a normal life with my kids and hubby.
the doc gave me a homework assignment- to research occipital nerve stimulator implant and the nerve decompression surgery. I am up for anything at this point!
later taters
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
a hopeless case
so, I saw Dr. L today. As we were talking about my case, he pointed out something he wrote in my file 10 years ago. He basically said that I was a hopeless case. He thinks that I might be better off seeing someone at a pain management clinic. He was a bit hopeful about the probability of having botox injections covered by new ins. company. We shall see...
adding to my usual suspects of the drug world:
cymbalta 60 mg, amrix 30mg, valium 10 mg, ambien, and the big guns...dilaudid, stadol and actiq. I am going to try topomax again. It has been 5 years since I last tried it. Even if I only get a month or so of relief, it would be worth it! It even made me lose weight because I had such a bad taste in my mouth all the time. There was also the issue of the loss of conversational skills. Words would just escape me-but that can happen even without the med. He also added bystolic(for high b.p.) I have also tried that in the past. It has been written off-label for headaches. I am ready to hit these headaches ot of the park for good.
The next thing that I know I need to be trying to get on disability. It seems like the only real option that I have.
On a personal note- we got really sad news about one of WM's childhood friends killing himself. What a sad, shocking, and seriously messed -up turn of events. I know that Nathan is in the arms of God right now. I just hope that Libby will be able to comprehend the situation. Lord, please send a hedge of angels to surround her during this hard time. I can't believe he is gone.
adding to my usual suspects of the drug world:
cymbalta 60 mg, amrix 30mg, valium 10 mg, ambien, and the big guns...dilaudid, stadol and actiq. I am going to try topomax again. It has been 5 years since I last tried it. Even if I only get a month or so of relief, it would be worth it! It even made me lose weight because I had such a bad taste in my mouth all the time. There was also the issue of the loss of conversational skills. Words would just escape me-but that can happen even without the med. He also added bystolic(for high b.p.) I have also tried that in the past. It has been written off-label for headaches. I am ready to hit these headaches ot of the park for good.
The next thing that I know I need to be trying to get on disability. It seems like the only real option that I have.
On a personal note- we got really sad news about one of WM's childhood friends killing himself. What a sad, shocking, and seriously messed -up turn of events. I know that Nathan is in the arms of God right now. I just hope that Libby will be able to comprehend the situation. Lord, please send a hedge of angels to surround her during this hard time. I can't believe he is gone.
Monday, April 5, 2010
hopeful...
so tomorrow I go back to the headache doc. We have new insurance, so I will be interested to see what options are out there for me. It is so hard to not be hopeless. I would love to find a clinical trial to be a part of.
Monday, March 29, 2010
case of the Mondays
Rough day today. NO real reason. There is so much blooming right now. My allergies are out of control. I am trying the sudafed or benadryl and advil combo. Can't sleep- too much worry and pain...
was betrayed today by someone I dearly love-hate that and don't think I will be able to sleep because of it. Please Lord, help me to forgive and let it go.
was betrayed today by someone I dearly love-hate that and don't think I will be able to sleep because of it. Please Lord, help me to forgive and let it go.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
nerve block
So, Monday I had an occipital nerve block. I must admit that I was very skeptical as to whether or not it would work. Remarkably, my headaches are down to a low dull ache. I can live with that. I haven't had any narcs since then, and my outlook is even better. This week, the kids were out on Spring Break. We stayed at Great Gran's house and visited with her and cousin Gabriel. He is just 9 yrs old. Right there with my girls. They all fought, played, fought, made up, and fought some more. Normally, this would have been the sort of thing that would have kept me medicated the entire time. We were going non-stop. The block was a true blessing and I can't wait to see how long it lasts.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
not working...
Nothing in the "entertain away the pain" is working today. Neither are the meds. S is only making me anxious to the point that I cannot relax. This is the first day of Spring Break for the kids and we did absolutely nothing! Well, everyone slept in and I am trying to break this headache. My suspensions that Cymbalta and Amrix weren't doing anything have been proven wrong. As soon as possible, I will be getting back on them. Right now I am uninsured and that sucks. Because of this, I have been off some of my meds because of the cost. Not good. Must do more research.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
stream of consciousness...
So, I live with a jumble of thoughts running through my head constantly. Sometimes, it might be like a soundtrack playing in my head as I watch the day go by, other times, I am not sure if I am remembering something from my own life or actually a book. I know this sounds crazy, but I live with chronic daily headaches. When the meds don't work, I try to loose myself in a book, movie, music or even facebook. I don't sleep well and I am sure that my hubby and kids think that I am insane. Maybe I will find out for myself if I am insane or not by writing through it.
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